Last week, I was out at a bar with running friends after an event at the store. I went to the bathroom and saw a bobby pin on the ground in the stall, one that was the same color as most of mine. One thing you should know about me is I leave at rail of bobby pins wherever I go. I don’t know how they all get so scattered, but they do, and suddenly the little case where I keep them is completely void of bobby pins, but they are probably on the floor in every room I have stepped into that week. So, I saw the bobby pin on the bathroom floor and wondered, is that my bobby pin? Immediately, I realized what an odd thought that was. I knew perfectly well, not only thanks to funny articles like this but also from female friends, that most girls who use bobby pins have this problem. Why would that bobby pin be my bobby pin? When was the last time I was even in this bathroom? Two weeks ago? I had not stepped foot into this bar in two weeks, yet I thought that might be my bobby pin. I did the same thing at the gym in the locker room, when I found a bobby pin in the locker I always choose. Why do I assume I’m the only one who has this issue, accidentally losing bobby pins left and right and making a metallic mess?
It’s so easy to think you’re the only one who has some ridiculous problem, or who thinks things that make no sense to everyone else. It’s so easy to think you are the only one in the world with the problems you are facing, that no one has advice for you or understands, because everything is so complex and you aren’t even sure how you feel about what you’re dealing with. It’s so easy to see people having such an easy time with life and all the things that go along with it. Everywhere you look you seem to see people who take their significant others for granted, like they are people who of course they are entitled to have in their lives, and people who have perfect little jobs they are satisfied with.People who can go on the adventures they want to go on – hiking trips and exploring foreign cities and biking across deserts – because they have money for it and they have someone in their lives who wants to do these things too. It’s easy to see these things when they are all you want, when you’re fixated on the things that are so, so difficult for you to come across and hold on to in life, even when you think they will be easy.
I’m realizing now that I’ve become the person I didn’t understand in college. Sometimes, anyway. Besides an annoying issue that doesn’t really cause me pain in my foot, running has been coming easy to me. I just wrote a whole post about 2014, and there was not one bad running experience in it. Not because I chose not to include it, but because 2014 didn’t have any disappointments. Four years ago, that was all I wanted. If I was healthy and running well, I should have no excuse to be sad or dissatisfied or lonely. Because I had running! What could be better? Surely everything else would fall into place if I was running well: I’d meet somebody and have a serious relationship because I was running and healthy and therefore happy. I would focus on school and work and everything would go smoothly because my head was all clear and not fixated on injuries.
Well, that’s not true. That’s just the way life is, it’s undeniable: there will always be someone out there who is frustrating as hell because he or she makes what you want look easy to get. The intangible, happiness-producing thing that you want. But everyone has something like this. And everyone has feelings like that. Everyone has a problem. Many problems, multiple, can’t-sleep-at-night or sleep-all-morning problems. They might not be the same as yours, or in areas of your life that you concern yourself with, but they exist.
Everyone drops their bobby pins all over their paths, I’m not the only one.